Article written by Chris Lynam of Arthur Murray California
This is not a problem. It’s a non-lethal emergency.
You can explain your way out of a problem, but when it comes to Salsa – that won’t help.
Think of this list as your latin dancing insurance policy. The thing you sign up for before the disaster strikes. You can always just wait for the emergency, but the premium you pay may be a bruised ego… or worse.
10 Non-Lethal Emergencies That Require Immediate Salsa Lessons
1. Latin Wedding
There will be dancing. A Latin wedding is one of the best parties of the year if you know what to do on the dance floor. Don’t make the mistake of thinking “Cumbia” is an appetizer, and “Bachata” is a bar item. Taking some salsa lessons is critical to your social survival, and your next invitation.
2. Going on a Vacation
There will be food. Going on a cruise down to Mexico, the Caribbean, or in any nautical vessel traveling slowly with a constant buffet and not much else to do can be a nightmare on your waistline. Learning to dance, however, burns off that second helping of Lobster Mac&Cheese, keeps you active, and you’re more likely to feel like you’ve had a fulfilling vacation – instead of just a fulfilled stomach.
3. Dating Someone Who Knows How to Dance the Salsa Already
There will be dance floors. At some point, no matter how many hip restaurants you go to, how many blockbusters you see – a dance floor will present itself to you. This may not be lethal, but don’t wait until this emergency to do something. Salsa dancing is not something you can copy like the Macarena or Chicken dance.
4. Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Know How To Dance Salsa
There will be competition. Listen, internet dating has put about a million more fish in the pond, and you need some competitive dating advantage – Salsa dancing absolutely does that. In fact, lessons in a variety of dances keeps you on top of your game, and at the top of the dating food chain. (*cue the Jaws music)
5. Need Some Exercise
There will be calories. The real inconvenient truth? Your metabolism is a bit different from your digestive glory days of 4×4 burgers at In and Out Burger at midnight as a youth. So before you schedule another water fast, or binge eat Cinnabons in revolt – try the most effective alternative workout program going: Dance Lessons. You’ll burn calories, forget you’re exercising, and the only thing you’ll gain is a game changing skill in the process.
6. When You’re Tired Of Going to The Same Old Nightclubs
There will be the cold shoulder. Sick of the booty-shake scene where everyone doesn’t want to dance with anyone? Where everyone is already dating someone, but show up at the club to rub it in? Where every beat of the Club music continues to hammer in the fact that this may not be your scene anymore. Learning to dance like a grown up means that you have the permission to ask someone to dance, escort them on and off the floor, and actually get to know the person. Booty shaking, at that point, is at your own discretion.
7. You’re Getting Married, and Don’t Want to Sway Side to Side
There will be an audience. Mom, Dad, the wedding party, and all the random people at a wedding are far more informed, wedding wise, than before. Taking the R. Kelly, sway side to side, way out is not adding anything to the “Legendary Wedding Score”. Salsa dancing as the first dance tells the crowd that the party is about to get real, really quick.
8. You Go To Salsa Clubs… For The Drinks
There will be drink specials. You’re in the vicinity of greatness, but just like a sporting event – watching the action and drinking beer doesn’t make someone a player. Salsa lessons get you into the game. The great thing is that this type of sporting event includes better looking people and beer on the sidelines during timeouts.
9. You Have Kids, A Babysitter, and A Date Night
There will be kid-coma. Your kids will always be a top priority, but not if it puts your marriage in a comatose state. Marathon diaper changes, grocery shopping tantrums, and any year you’ve survived with them as a teenager should earn you a medal, and a date night. Why not upgrade your cool points, and make full use of your date night by learning how to dance salsa.
10. Your Demanding Significant Other Is Your Mobile Device
There will be work. Being on the go, on top of e-mails, trends, and business metrics makes you a valuable employee. Having a conversation, out loud, with words, and actual facial expressions (the original Emojis) makes you a better human. Learning to dance puts you into an environment that super-charges your ability to communicate. It gives your brain a chance to flex some different muscles, and there is enough evidence of how it can improve your work productivity that your boss should be subsidizing it for you.
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